Sex and the City

Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall in Sex and the City: The Movie.

I swear I could actually feel sperm dying inside my testicles and testosterone leaking out of my pores as I watched this movie. I mean, I've watched and even enjoyed some chick flicks in the past, but Sex and the City has to be the queen of all chick flicks, without the slightest bone thrown to the men in the audience. At least in the TV series, there was female nudity and the leads were still young enough to be attractive. There is some nudity in the movie, but more of it is male than female and only Charlotte and Samantha have aged well. That might sound sexist, but if this movie can be from the female perspective, than there's no reason this review can't be from the male.

The plot is just more of the same from the series. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha struggle with finding and keeping love in New York City. Although for the movie, the story does branch out to California, where Samantha has moved to be with Jerrod, but she still flies back to NYC so often she might as well still live there. The foursome also take a vacation in Mexico together, but the movie, like the series, is always best when in Manhattan. Carrie and Big are on again and off again, as in the series. Miranda and Steve are on again and off again, as in the series. Samantha and Jerrod are on again and off again, as in the series. And Charlotte is pretty much happy all the time, as in the series. If you're looking for new plot developments, then this isn't the movie for you, but then, that's not the point of this movie. The point is to reunite you with some old friends, which if you loved in the series, you will love here.

I guess if you do love these characters, then you'll want to spend as much time with them as possible, but as someone who was only ever mildly fond of them, I felt they wore out their welcome about 45 minutes before the movie ended. It seems to drag on and on, and too much time is given towards the end of the film, to Jennifer Hudson's character as Carrie's assistant. For a short time, the other three girls disappear and it's just Carrie and Hudson. There are several other scenes that could have been cut as well, including a fashion show Carrie puts on for her friends as she models the contents of her closet.

As is usual for SATC, the men are given short-shrift. They're all one-dimensional characters whose only purpose is to give reason for the women to bond. Big gets cold feet before his and Carrie's wedding and that's about his only personality trait. Steve is a sad sack who cheats on Miranda, and then (inexplicably considering what a bitch she is in this movie) spends the rest of the movie trying to apologize to her. And Harry is as nice and understanding as always. Oh and Jerrod is just eye-candy as he's always been.

Of course, obviously this movie isn't anymore about the men as it was intended to be viewed by men. Well, straight men in any case. It's designed to be viewed by women of a certain age and type who have fond memories of the show. And to them this movie will be eminently satisfying, but to anyone else, you'll be looking at your watch before the end.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Hudson in Sex and the City: The Movie.

Sex and the City worked as a television series but the transformation to the big screen is awkward at best. First of all it is just too long and instead of a plot that builds to a climax we have what feels like several episodes put together. The story doesn’t go anywhere. And although it is supposed to be five years since last we saw the girls none of them has changed or matured. They each have the exact same problems.

And what is up with all the fashion montages. I’m gay and even I was bored with them after awhile. And speaking of gay, the two supporting gay characters are given absolutely nothing important to do. Ditto Jennifer Hudson’s character, she’s a complete throwaway. This role does nothing to suggest that she is an Academy Award winning actress.

Scott, is right about the men as well. They are so one-dimensional as to be ridiculous. On the series they had more depth than here. Hell, even the four women had more personality in the series. This movie is like a big Valentine to the show’s fans. It’s big and pretty but ultimately pointless.

Cynthia Nixon and Kristen Davis in Sex and the City: The Movie.

Watching this movie, I felt trapped in a world of very self absorbed women. It took a year for Carrie to realize that she was treating Big like a wedding accessory and not a groom. It took Miranda just as long to get it in her head that denying her husband sex, for extended periods of time, is breaking a vow, just as having an affair is. Every frigging scene is about one of their problems. Even when Charlotte has her baby they still talk to Carrie about Big. Their world seems to revolve around Carries problems.

Having only seen a hand full of episodes, I have little history with these characters and I am none the less for it. Carrie is so self centered I could not stand to be around her. Miranda is so tight that I am surprised her husband would even want her back. Charlottes only purpose is to be a contrast to Samantha. Hudson was added to the cast for no other reason than to try to expand the demographics.

Ditto to Scott and Patrick on the male characters personalities. Steve wears glasses and is short. Scott wrote that Jerrod is eye candy, but his job gets usurped by the naked neighbor. Big, the twice divorced, well into middle age, man of the world acts childish when it comes to marrying Carrie? I guess the only way to make these dull ladies seem more exciting was to write even duller male characters.

This is not even a real movie. This was four episodes put together. Episode I: Carries Wedding. Episode 2: Mexico Vacation. Episode 3: The Assistant. Episode 4: New Beginnings. After watching this movie I had no desire to watch the television show. I could never waste any more time with a bunch of rich women, who never seem to work, screw up their own lives, due to their own selfcentered attitudes.