Scary Movie 3

Anna Faris in Scary Movie 3.

The Scary Movie franchise has always been an uneven one , but rewatching this one for the first time since it was released in 2003, I was truly surprised by how much I laughed while watching it. Yes, it's silly and juvenile and yes, nearly as many jokes flop as succeed, but at a brisk 84 minutes it doesn't have time to wear out its welcome.

Given that the plot is a parody of movies released in the early part of the last decade, knowledge of those movies is essential to get all of the jokes. This does sort of put an expiration date on the jokes. Anyone who can't remember or wasn't around during that time will miss out on many of the pop culture references. While I remembered the main ones, there was a joke involving twins that completely passed me by until after I finished watching and read that it was a spoof of a beer commercial that has long since passed out of pop culture consciousness.

One thing that I enjoyed about this installment is that unlike others in this series--and in the far too many other parody films that have been released--it actually possesses a fairly coherent plot. It blends The Ring and Signs and does it in a way that makes fairly good sense. Those two movies create the main plot, but it throws in lots of other parodies as well, including 8 Mile, The Matrix, The Others and many others. Some of the parodies get their own scenes while others are just quick throwaways, such as Leslie Nielsen referring to a photo of Harrison Ford in the White House as President Ford or when Nielsen busts into a room to say a line he made famous in the father of all parody films, Airplane.

Anna Faris, who for my money is the funniest actress working today, reprises her role of Cindy. This time around she's playing the Naomi Watts part from The Ring. Cindy becomes romantically involved with George, who is a combination of Joaquin Phoenix from Signs and Eminem from 8 Mile. In this version, they believe that the killer video tape was created by the aliens who made the crop circles. Charlie Sheen takes the Mel Gibson role from that film. Regina Hall, who is the only other actor to appear in all of the Scary Movies, gets a funny scene where she goes toe-to-toe with the ghost from The Ring. Something about her voice always makes laugh.

There are many funny scenes and lines, including the following exchange which is my favorite moment in the entire film. After watching the creepy video tape, Cindy receives a phone call. For those of you who remember The Ring, you'll know that when she answers, a voice will tell her that she has just 7 days to live, but here things go a little differently.
Cindy: Hello?
Spooky Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: What? Willie Mays?
Spooky Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: Who's gay? Hello?
Spooky Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: What?
Spooky Voice: Can you hear me now?
Cindy: Kind of.
Spooky Voice: Can you hear me now?
Cindy: Yes. Perfect.
Spooky Voice: Seven days.
Cindy: Seven days. Oh, my God. I'm gonna die next Monday?
Spooky Voice: Yes. No. Wait. Monday. That would be seven business days. This is seven days starting now.
Cindy: So seven days to this very hour? My watch broke. How am I gonna know the exact hour?
Spooky Voice: Forget hours. This day seven days from now.
Cindy: But there's a holiday coming up. Do you count the holiday?
Spooky Voice: Well, that depends. What holiday?
Cindy: Martin Luther King Day.
Spooky Voice: Then no.
Cindy: Why not? Everybody at work is taking it off.
Spooky Voice: Jesus Christ, lady. I'm giving you seven friggin' days. I can come over now and kill the shit out of you if you'd rather have that.

Not all of the jokes work of course. Queen Latifah shows up as a spoof of the Oracle from The Matrix, but it never really generates many laughs. It also feels unnaturally foisted onto the plot and despite a funny cameo from George Carlin, should probably have been cut from the film.

This was the first Scary Movie to be made without the Wayans brothers and it was also the first one to be made that wasn't rated-R. I remember at the time that there were complaints about the series losing its edge, but honestly Scary Movie 2 wasn't all that funny and going from an R to a PG-13 simply cuts down on the gross-out jokes that featured so heavily in the previous installment.

No, this isn't a classic and it's quite silly and dumb in places, but sometimes a dumb, silly comedy is what I'm in the mood for and that was the case tonight. I probably laughed more than I should have and definitely more than I thought I would.

Simon Rex in Scary Movie 3

Like Scott, I found Scary Movie 3 an improvement over the second installment. Many of the references are dated but for anyone who has seen enough movies, they will get most of them. Not all of the jokes are movie based, such as when Regina Hall asks Anna Faris, “You know how you know something bad is about to happen, like when you see an Asian behind the wheel.”

The Scary Movies have long been known for their crass humor, such as here when we are shown the first clips of Aliens. We see them walking behind a horse taking a dump, dogs having sex and guys vomiting. The one joke that I felt truly crossed a line was the pedophile priest. He shows up to babysit Anna Faris’s son, brings out a bottle of wine, lights two candles and calls soothingly, “Cody…” Later, the priest calls Faris and tells her in a cheery voice, “We're getting along famously.” Eeeuuuww!

I agree that Anna Faris is hilarious. Her wide eyed approach to all the nuttiness is charming. I also found Simon Rex hilarious. He had me laughing out loud. His Eminem imitation is hysterical, "You just hate me cuz I 'm black." Part of his rap goes, “Check it out / I'm a white boy, but my neck is red / I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread /…” When he tries to gently tell his niece that her teacher is dead, he explains that she is, “Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!” His upset niece cries, “My dog's dead?” Rex explains, “I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!”

After Rex destroys Regina Hall’s corpse, thinking he is reviving her, he gets thrown out of the window. He pouts and walks off, “That’s it! That’s the last time I try to bring someone back from the dead.” Faris catches up with him and sobs in his arms about her friend’s death, “My God it’s so hard.” she cries. Rex awkwardly responds, “Well, you are beautiful, and pressed up against me.”

Not all of the jokes work. Maybe it is just the parent in me but hitting a little boy with a baseball bat or a car is not as funny as when it is done to an adult. Speaking of Cody, I did enjoy his ability to predict people’s future. “Smoke all you want, you're gonna get hit by a bus.”

Anna Faris and Regina Hall in Scary Movie 3.

Even without any involvement from the Wayans brothers, Scary Movie 3 improves on the second installment in the franchise. It's still not quite as good as the original but it does have its share of laughs. And it features an all-star cast led by the always hilarious Anna Faris and Regina Hall. Anthony Anderson and Kevin Hart likewise bring the funny as does Leslie Nielsen, whose comic timing was still very much intact in his few scenes as the President of the United States. In one scene his security team thinks White House tourists are really aliens in disguise. “Good God, the small ones have metal teeth! Jerry's Kids, my ass.” He says as he punches a little girl with braces.

Several famous rappers play themselves in one silly scene that ends in a shootout. Stand-up legend George Carlin is funny as The Architect. His scene mixes a spoof of the Matrix trilogy with the storyline from The Ring. He's not just The Architect he's also the father of Tabitha the evil girl spirit from The Ring. As he explains it to Cindy, “We loved our daughter very much, but she was evil. Made the horses crazy. Killed our puppies. Hid the remote. Really sick shit. My wife took her to the old family farm and drowned her in the well. I felt a simple time-out would have been sufficient.”

Combining the plots from Signs and The Ring does work in a very silly sort of way. It gives the movie some structure and the farmhouse from Signs provides a simple setting for the culmination of the various story-lines.

As with all spoof movies some jokes work and others don't. The opening scene with Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy is one that works. I laughed when McCarthy makes a reference to the infamous Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee sex tape. I also laughed at the Michael Jackson impersonator, although the real Michael Jackson was allegedly so enraged by this movie that he attempted litigation against the filmmakers.

Like Eric, I think they overdid the physical abuse of Cody. Watching him get hit in the face with a bat or run over by a car is funny once, not three or four times. But excess is the hallmark of this genre. Go over the top and throw as many jokes at the screen as possible and hope for the best. Scary Movie 3 is far from the best but it will at least make you laugh.